GOD ALWAYS CALLS TWICE
Or as many times as it takes.
Imagine keeping a Word file intact since February 11, 1997. That is the day I captured the story digitally but typed it out before using the typewriter I purchased to (unsuccessfully) write children’s books in the early 90s, just a few years after my conversion experience.
I am sharing it below as written—with only a few minor grammar corrections.
When I was a young girl, I fell in love. Like many young girls in love, I was often broken‑hearted. On one painful occasion, I took my aching heart to God. Sitting by a window in a stream of bright sunlight, hands tightly clasped and tears streaming down my face, I begged him for understanding.
"Why does he hurt me ?", I groaned. "Why doesn't he love me?" I cried to Him until I couldn't cry anymore. When I stopped, I heard a voice. I could not hear it with my ears, but I heard it with my heart.
"Save yourself," He said. What? I did not understand. What did saving myself have to do with my boyfriend?
"Save yourself," He said again.
"What do you mean?" I asked aloud. "I'm not ready. I'm too young."
Unfortunately, as a young girl, my understanding of "save yourself" conjured up visions of shouting church ladies or nuns clothed in black shrouds with steely faces. I did not know what He meant, and I would not know for many years...
Thirteen sorrow-filled years followed. The boyfriend, over whom my tears were spent, was murdered before my eyes. My dreams of a college education and career were shattered by an unplanned pregnancy. Infidelity poisoned the resulting marriage, and after several heartbreaking years, ended in a bitter divorce. For most of those years, I didn't pray at all…
But, like many Christians who stray, I got lonely for the love of my Savior. I renewed my faith, attended church, and learned that He was still waiting for me. I didn't give myself to Him right away, but I knew that someday I would. Too bad it was not before a friend whom I trusted, mentally and physically abused me for three long years. Yet, it was prayer that gave me the strength to endure that painful relationship. I was learning to rely on the power of prayer for all things.
A year later, a broken heart brought me to Him again. This time though, when I asked for understanding, I asked for understanding of His love. And, He said, "Come to Me and all your dreams will come true." I understood that! The very next day, I gave my life to Christ.
Why didn't God say that to me when I was fifteen? He did. That is exactly what "save yourself" means; love Him because He loves you. Seventeen years ago He had been touched by my weeping. He had seen my fate and reached out with the only thing that I needed ‑ salvation. Unfortunately, an immature spirit cannot comprehend the beauty of God's word for it is a spiritual experience that allows us to communicate with God. I had stopped going to Sunday school or church services and didn't pray regularly. I had not nurtured my spirit. He didn't give up on me though. After I had listened intently to many sermons with the understanding that the messages were not to condemn me, but to correct me. After I learned to say the Lord's prayer by pausing after each passage to think about what it meant. After I learned that through faith all things are possible, the Lord spoke to me again. I accepted His will, and am now growing in a path of peace. I wonder, had I understood the message of my Lord in my youth, could I have "saved myself" from all of that pain and sorrow? You know it!
God will be calling on you someday. Will you be ready to hear the wonders of His Word?